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Featured Stories
Nursing Home was a Positive Experience by Nancy Boling
Grass Valley Care Center Acknowledged |
So often we hear folks say, "I will never go to a nursing home: or "I will never put a loved one in a nursing home." Life doesn't always give us a choice. With much guilt, I had to put my own husband, who was dying of bone cancer, in a nursing home (Grass Valley Care Center). The many consequences of his disease made it necessary for him to have more help than I could continue to provide at home, even with the help of Hospice. His daughter and I were with him as he was moved from the hospital; we told him he was going to a "health spa." He remained there for four months until his death, until which he continued to play along with us about his stay at the "spa."
Within the first week, his mind began to clear because it was no longer necessary for him to have many mind-altering medications. He began to use a wheelchair and cruise the halls, interacting with other guests. We live in a small mobile home and cruising wasn't an option. The "spa" was a small, local convalescent hospital with about 30-35 beds. I was encouraged to bring our little Shih Tzu dog, Teddy Bear, visiting as often as I wished. Teddy could ride on his master's lap and cruise the halls with him. Nurses, aides, and other residents all greeted Teddy Bear with great enthusiasm.
The administration, nurses, aides, cleaning women and kitchen staff without exception greeted my husband, John, by name, visited with him as if he were their own relative and showed constant care and concern regarding his daily progress, or lack thereof.
The stimulation he received from these kind folks was something he couldn't have gotten at home with just me to keep his mind active. Even though most of the residents were in poor physical or mental health, they participated in activities geared to their abilities for a least half of their waking hours.
The food was so ample that my husband actually gained weight. On a scale of one to 10, he told me the food was a 14. In addition to his three regular meals, the aides came around twice a day with a snack cart with choices of sandwiches, ice cream and fruit and he could have as much as he wished.
At meal time, if he was still hungry, he could have seconds. He frequently cruised to the kitchen door and would request a particularly favorite sandwich. If he had been at home I would have found it hard to stop what I was doing and cook him a fried egg sandwich, his favorite. A beverage bar was also available in the recreation room.
As his cancer worsened, the staff watched over him like a flock of mother hens. His pain meds were administered on the dot and other health problems detected were reported to doctors days, nights, and weekends. I wonder if I could have recognized some of the medical problems as quickly as they did.
When my husband was no longer mobile, I watched the aides clean and bath him with such tenderness, care and expertise that he could have been their own loved one. The afternoon he died, I was surrounded by a group of staff who were crying right along with me.
Now I have no guilt about putting my husband in a nursing home, only thanks for those who helped me with the decision and praise for those who cared for him.
Nancy Boling lives in Grass Valley, CA
Article appeared in the Grass Valley Union newspaper on 5/12/07.
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